The Things We Have Learned

As our term in Ecuador is coming to an end, we have begun to reflect on our time here. We have been humbled and amazed by the many things that God has taught us. These are just a few of the things we have learned.

To rely on God – When you are living in a culture different than your own, far from your family and friends, your church, and everything familiar, you are forced to rely on the one thing you know: God. Being far away from our kids has been the most difficult part of living in this culture. Most of the time there is nothing you can do but pray and trust God. Through the difficult times, our faith was strengthened, as was our relationship with Him. We have by no means reached the end of our learning in this but we have come a long way on the journey.

There are many ways to do things – So often we, in North America, think we are the only ones who know how to do things, or at least to do them “right”. We have noted the differences in this culture, things that cause us to think that we could show them how to do things better. People push ahead of you in line, they play music so loud it hurts your ears, they litter, they drive in a manner that we consider less than courteous, and the list goes on. However, no one gets upset if someone pushes ahead of them. When the music in church is so loud you can’t hear yourself or the person beside you singing, you see the people clapping and moving to the music as they enthusiastically worship God. Every day many people earn their living picking up the garbage that is dropped on the sidewalk and in the street. Although one hears a fair number of horns honking, we have never witnessed an instance of road rage. So who says our way is the best way? We are thankful that the Ecuadorian people are kind and tolerant of us and our differences.

A little bit of Spanish (and how to bluff your way through if you don’t understand) – We have to admit, we had hoped to know more Spanish by this time. But we are thankful for what we have learned so far. There is a lot of Spanish in our heads somewhere. We just have trouble getting the words out and in the correct order.

How to cross the street safely – We haven’t quite achieved mastery in this but we have avoided any mishaps so far. There are still times when one of us runs and the other waits, but we always arrive at our destination at the same time.

You don’t have to have a hot water tap in the kitchen – Heating water to wash dishes is not convenient, but if you remember to put it on at the beginning of the meal, it will be hot when you’re done. I’ve even started washing dishes the Ecuadorian way, with cold water and a paste type detergent (which is probably pure lye). Dave prefers to use hot water. Either way, it can be done. It’s kind of like camping.

You can get almost anyone to smile – Since we walk the same route to school and back at the same times every day, we meet some of the same people every day. We have made a game of trying to see how many of the familiar faces we can get to smile and say “Buenos Dias”. Some have taken longer than others, but we now have quite a few people saying good morning to us along the way to school.

Bull Fights are not as glamorous as you might think – We had the opportunity to go to a bull fight at the agricultural fair at Gonzanama, a small town near Loja, where some of our SIM team are located. I’m not sure what we imagined, but reality was quite different. We knew it was going to be a fight to the death (for the bull that is) but we weren’t prepared for the suffering of the bull before it was put to death. When the bullfighter raised his arms in triumph over the dead bull, we were not as enthusiastic in our applause as the rest of the audience. Our applause became less enthusiastic with each fight; there were four in total. The matadors and their dancing horses were impressive and that was the part we enjoyed the most. We chalked it all up to a cultural experience – one that we won’t have to repeat.

God is not limited by our limitations – Before coming to Ecuador and even while we were first here, we were reluctant to accept the title of missionary. We were just teachers, not “real” missionaries. But we learned that God uses many people, in many different ways. Who would have thought that speaking English, something we just do, could be a ministry? God has made us more aware of the opportunities He has placed before us and we are certain that if we are willing, He will continue to use us, wherever He leads us. Now, when we’re asked if we are missionaries, we confidently answer, “Yes!”

The Beauty of Ecuador

We have not had to travel far from Loja to find some amazing landscapes and beautiful flowering plants and trees. We have been amazed by the beauty of God's creation. This time we will let the photos speak for themselves.

On Being Grandparents

We think it’s true what they say: grandchildren are one of the greatest gifts your heart will ever know. We were so fortunate to be able to go home for a visit last month to meet our precious granddaughter, Charlotte. We marveled again at the miracle of a new baby as those tiny fingers grasped ours. To finally be able to hold her in our arms after 6 weeks of looking at pictures was such a joy! We held her at every opportunity because “you can’t spoil a baby before they’re three months old.” (Not that we would have worried about it. From what we’ve heard it’s a grandparent’s prerogative to spoil their grandchildren anyway.) Needless to say, she was the centre of attention and the longer we were there, the more attached we became.

It’s an amazing thing to see your baby with a baby of her own. It makes us wonder where the years have gone and yet it seems right. To see your children as parents is somehow gratifying and we hope that they have learned from our example, as well as from our mistakes, for we know there were many. In a way, being a grandparent gives you an opportunity for a do-over. The following poem really expresses our thoughts.

We'd wish our kids were small again...

If we were granted any wish, I'll tell you what we'd do,
We'd wish our kids were small again, for just a month or two.
To hear their squeals of laughter, to watch them while they play.
And when they ask us to join in, we wouldn't say, "Not today."

To hug again their chubby frames, to kiss away their tears,
and cherish childhood innocence that washed away the years.
Then when it's story time again, we'd stay a little longer,
to answer questions, sing the songs, so memories would be stronger.

But time is callous, wishes, myth, yet God in all his wisdom,
has given us another chance before we join his kingdom.
Your faces may not be just the same, your names are changed, 'tis true,
but yet the smile that radiates, reminds us so much of you.

God must have known that grandparents would need a chance or two.
For many little happy things we hadn't time to do.
So God gave love to grandparents to equal that before, that,
in effect embraces those little lives they bore.

http://www.dennydavis.net/poemfiles/bbychld/grchild.htm

Although we are again on the other side of the world, Charlotte is very often in our thoughts. Once again, we are relying on pictures, videos and Skype to watch her grow and change. We hope for many opportunities in the future to spend time with her and be a part of her life. She is indeed a gift from God to be cherished.

Life without Lily

It was on December the 10^th that Lily was providing some entertainment for us while we were eating supper, as she often did. (Yes, we had come to enjoy her antics, some of the time.) On this particular day she raced in and out of the room, jumped in and out of the basket on the bookshelf, and tried to climb up the curtains. After this burst of energy she meowed at the door to be let out. Getting out through the skylight was proving to be more difficult since the landlord put a tarp over it to keep the rain out. Although she could still do it, when we were home, she preferred to go out through the door. Dave let her out, and we’re sad to say, that was the last time we saw her.

She almost always returned about the time we were going to bed. This time we thought it a bit strange that we hadn’t heard the familiar meow at the door but didn’t think too much of it. The next morning she still wasn’t there. When she wasn’t there when we returned from school that day, we were starting to fear the worst, although we didn’t give up hope. After several days, however, we were quite certain she wasn’t coming back. After a couple of weeks, we washed her blanket and packed up her stuff. It seemed so final.

As much as we complained about her disagreeable personality, we had come to an understanding. When I petted her as she sat on my lap I just expected that after a few minutes she would try to bite me. Dave came to expect a swat on the leg when she walked past. She even seemed to have learned the word, “NO!”, or maybe it was the fact that we were always coming after her when we said it. But either way, she left the kitchen in a hurry when we yelled at her.

So now, we are once again without a pet. Dave is sleeping much better at night, not having to worry about Lily crashing in or out through the skylight, or meowing at the door to be let in or out. I can sit down to drink my coffee in the morning. We don’t have to worry about getting fleas. We don’t have to clean out the litter box. We can leave the kitchen and bedroom doors open. (It was always a bit of a guessing game trying to find each other with all the doors closed.)

So do we miss her? Yes, actually we do. But only if we spot any rodents will we be tempted to get another cat. 

Christmas in Ecuador

For the first time ever, we were away from all of our kids for Christmas, a time of year that is traditionally spent with family. Although we missed them, and longed to be there (even more so after Charlotte was born), we were really blessed this Christmas.

On December 23^rd we celebrated with our SIM “family”. The whole team got together at the home of one of the missionary families. We enjoyed an evening of good food, games, singing and a gift exchange. Even though we have only been here a short time, we have been accepted and made to feel that we are part of the team.

On Christmas Eve our church had a candlelight service, very similar to services at home. We listened to the familiar scripture passages being read in Spanish and we sang familiar Christmas songs in Spanish. The language was different but the message was the same – we celebrate and rejoice because of the birth of Jesus Christ, our Saviour. At the end of the service the pastor talked about us and told everyone that we were away from our family in Canada and that we had a new grandchild. Then he said to us, in English, that they loved us and were glad we were here and glad that our grandchild was well. When it was over, I think almost every person there came and hugged us.

In Ecuador, Christmas Eve is the important day when families celebrate together. Gifts do not seem to be the focus but rather the food and fellowship. We were very honoured to be invited to an Ecuadorian family celebration on Christmas Eve. The woman who invited us goes to our church and has lived in the United States. She said she knows what it’s like to be away from home at Christmas so she asked if we would like to join her family. We arrived at her sister’s place around 9 p.m. Other family members began arriving and there were soon close to 30 people there. Everyone greeted us in the traditional Ecuadorian way, with a kiss on the cheek, as if we were part of the family. Anyone who could speak a bit of English made a great effort to talk to us. Around 11 we sat down for the turkey dinner. When the host proposed a toast before the meal (in Spanish), he was talking about the importance of the occasion and celebrating it with family. Then he looked at us and someone supplied him with the English word “friends”. We so appreciated their kindness in welcoming us into their family.

Christmas Day we were invited to the home of one of the missionaries. They said they didn’t want anyone sitting at home alone on Christmas Day so there were 10 of us altogether. We had a great meal, visited and played a couple of games. Then we were all anxious to get home to Skype with our families. We were fortunate that our internet was working and we were able to talk to the kids later in the day. Not the same as being there, but better than nothing!

New Year’s Eve is probably the biggest celebration of the year in Ecuador. It is more than just welcoming the new year. They have a tradition in which they make life size figures, called Ano Viejo, meaning Old Year. In Loja these figures appeared to be made out of paper mache or some type of hard material and had elaborately painted clothes and faces. We were in Cuenca for a few days between Christmas and New Year’s and there they were stuffed with sawdust or newspaper and were wearing clothes. They were for sale on every street corner. On New Year’s Eve the people light fires in the streets and at midnight throw their “Ano Viejo” into the fire, symbolically getting rid of all the negative things from the year just ending. Then everyone jumps over the fire three times for good luck.

We didn’t venture out on the streets that night, but we watched the goings on from our rooftop. We had a great view of several fires on our street. Following the burning of the Ano Viejo there was an incredible fireworks display. Here anyone and everyone buys fireworks to set off at midnight (with little thought to safety it seems). From our roof we can see all across the city and there were fireworks going off everywhere! We didn’t know which way to turn; they were all around us. It was amazing!

So, we have celebrated Christmas and said good-bye to 2012 in a new culture. Although it was difficult to be away from our family during this time, our lives have been enriched through our experiences here.